Frendship At Day's End

 

 

 

As a Hospice volunteer working with death and dying, my life has been greatly enriched through my interactions with my patients and their families. It is an honor and privilege to serve people in the final days of their lives. So many of them openly share life stories, their spiritual beliefs and/or end-of-life spiritual questions, their fears about their illness and the dying process, their love and hopes for their families, and sometimes, their regrets in life. For some it is a time of profound healing. I always feel blessed when they trust me enough to share their most intimate thoughts.

     A recent patient with whom I had shared a great deal of time during the final four months of his life, touched my life deeply. This frail man of eighty-six, who was suffering from the advanced stages of Parkinson’s disease, diabetes, and a heart condition, told me wonderful stories of his life and openly expressed his deep love for his family and friends. His profound love and respect of nature, and his understanding of his connection with of all of it, was evident in both his words and his activist work with environmental organizations. His life was one dedicated to teaching and reaching out to those less fortunate than himself. Although it took great effort and concentration for him to speak, he always articulated his conversations with me in a remarkably lucid, logical, and interesting manner. He spoke with a skillful balance of directness, humor, and wisdom. The courage he demonstrated in dealing with the great pain and debilitating effects of his illness, and facing the inevitability of his death, was an inspiration to me and taught me a great deal about living life to its fullest. The following poem was written in memory of Merile; a talented artist, educator, intellectual, husband, father, and friend.

 

 

FRIENDSHIP AT DAY'S END

 

Your hand shaking meets mine

          Across the table of your life

 

Your smile greets me like an old friend

          But your eyes ask questions

As direct as the words you struggle to speak

                   Questions for the stranger

Who in his helping must earn your trust

Be worthy of the thoughts that may fall

Upon your mind at times

Your hopes and dreams

Your pain or sorrow

          The treasures of your intellect

And all that a stranger like me

May – by chance discover

 

Tired but satisfied

Your trembling hand takes mine again

          And with your walker you rattle softly

Down the hall to your rest

Leaving me behind in the comfort

Of your wit and your humor

And that warm smile that lingered

Long after you left the room

 

At once you become 

An immortal element of blue in the sky

An ever flowing rich river

An intellect and mind sharp with contradiction

          To both age and affliction

 

I know who you are

And know well the moment

You became an unforgettable meaning

 

Now you are not at hand

But thoughts of you fill my heart

With gratitude and affection

For each moment I had the privilege

Of breathing with you

Became lessons for me

On how to live

                   And how to die

 

All around me the daily sessions

Of light and dark move on without you

But the rhythms and images

Of your soul’s ritual remain to remind me

That our so short friendship

          Was full enough to fill life times

 

In the shadow of your wisdom and charm

In a world made more beautiful

                   By the colors and textures

Of your creative mind and able hands

          In your example

Of how to live and love deeply

By the courage and grace

That became your final work of art

I know you understood and lived life – completely

Tags: death & dying, friendship, courage, love, educator, intellectual, friendship